A very romantic Valentine’s day where he spent enough money to have purchased a ring and proposed has come and gone. My father calls him his “son in law” and while I think that level of acceptance is really sweet, I’m kind of upset because he is neither my husband nor my fiance. Marriage is a life changing decision and a serious commitment, and it will take him a little bit of time to think. A marriage will require him to share his assets, his living space, his last name, and pretty much share his entire world!
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I think you need to have a very honest conversation with him. You need to be ready for some painful answers if you Lava Life do. Many times, such men are just willing to string you along forever without the intention of ever marrying you.
If not, then maybe it’s not the right match? But maybe they don’t see the rush or push like you do. Share your feelings and see what they say. Making assumptions can be deadly to relationships. It’s totally possible that he does want to get married. Maybe he has an engagement ring picked out, and is waiting for the right time to propose.
If they’ve been together only 2-3 years, yeah, maybe wait a little and don’t pressure him, but nine years and at 27 is a little ridiculous. If he’s not ready by 27 and he’s financially stable, he’s probably not ever going to be ready. Wow as I was reading this thread I thought about that statement too that I read. It’s either you love that person as he loves you and want to be with him.
It is rare for a man to get married without first introducing his potential wife to family, so if you have been together for a while and haven’t met the family, marriage is probably off the table. Maybe they saw their own parents’ marriage turn sour, or for whatever reason, they don’t think marriage is necessary. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group.
You’re starting to think about married life.
Start opening yourself up to other possibilities. It’s his loss and he’d do best to realize it before it’s too late, if it isn’t already. Successful relationships require a process, and your explanations are very clear. Many people dismiss the importance of the milestones that only happen with time. These moments filter relationships and what’s left allows us to make better decisions. People tend to use relationships for everything short of building a future with someone.
My suggestion to you is that you should start doing your own thing. Plan a weekend away with your gf’s- join a class or immerse yourself in a hobby. Anyway, I understand it’s frustrating to wait for years, but I really agree with the people who said you should stop bringing it up all the time. It should be something he truly wants too, no?
Rejected proposals are often kept on the DL, but experts want you to know that you can and should say no if he pops the question and things don’t feel right. If the last time you’ve heard of a rejected marriage proposal was when you played The Sims as a tween (cue the Tchaikovsky followed by the “boing” noise), we’re right there with you. Sure it’s hard to start over again, but finding someone who is honest and hopefully local is what you need. Not chasing some guy who doesn’t really exist. The last thing you want is to be years into a marriage when you realize that you’re incompatible when it comes to your parenting styles, spending habits, or expectations for sex in a marriage. Your partner might be extremely loving and considerate to you right now, but how do they treat the other people in their life?
I told them all NO and I’m so glad I did. I think it is great when a couple move in together because of no other reason than they want to be together, no hidden agendas. I think if it’s only marriage you are looking for then you shouldn’t move in together because it’s too hard to move out and on when you don’t get that proposal. My boyfriend won’t let me come over to his house.
I won’t do him the disservice of quoting the entire suggested conversation (especially since I don’t wanna get hit with a copyright suit), so I really recommend that she buy a copy or go to the library. Its quite insightful, and there are some really funny parts too. No, you should not say anything to him – it isn’t your relationship. This is her life and between the two of them to work out.
Accept that and move on, or hang around and wait for him to be ready. It sounds like it’s not really working out, though. But lately, we have been going through some difficulties that I’m starting to question our overall relationship. Him and I have been together since I was 19 and he was 20.